Bachelorette Blessing Ritual

Rituals together are a great way to build energy and set intention.  I crafted this ritual to help support a friend through the transition into her new life, to bless us and celebrate our time and connection together.

Begin by setting up your alter.  Bring offerings of flowers, bread, fruit, chocolate, etc. In addition to what you normally place on your alter have a candle for each person, salt, water and incense, Palo Santo or sage, and a lighter.  You can also have paper and something to write with to burn fears and things you would like to let go of in the fire, we wrote these things down before the ritual and had the paper with us but you could do it once you've called circle as well.

I brought canning jars with lids for the water so each person would have their own and be able to take it with them. I also placed crystals in the jars and it rained right before so I collected some rain water.  If you were near a natural source of water you could use that too. The crystals I used:  Rose Quartz: encourage unconditional love, openings heart, self-love, deep inner healing and peace. Turmalated Quartz: grounding and deflection of negative energy.  Ruby: increase passion and love, finding bliss, adventure.  Garnet:  Grounding, love and relationships. Moonstone: inner growth and strength. Sooth emotions, success and good fortune. Labradorite: Transformation, companion through change, protection. Rainbow Tourmaline:   Cleanse, balance and strengthen love centre, purify heart.  Malachite: stone of transformation, protection.

Gather your group and begin to call your circle, you can smudge each person as they walk into the circle if you like.  If you have a fire you can set up around the fire.  Face the direction as you call.  You can also do this ritual alone.

We (I) call to the energy of Air in the East.  May you breathe peace into our (my) new beginnings and change with the turning of the wheel.  Bring us (me) wisdom, clear thought and communication.  Hail and Welcome

We (I) call to the energy of Fire in the South.  May your heat burn everything that does not serve us (me) and bring the passion and courage in the creation of successful relationships.  Hail and Welcome

We (I) call to the energy of Water in the West.  May you wash away any emotions that cause suffering.  May you heal, purify and cleanse us (me) and fill our (my) hearts with joy and love.  Hail and Welcome

 We (I) call to the energy of Earth in the North.  May you ground us (me) in your stability and nourish us (me) with your strength as we (I) walk into new growth and abundance.  Hail and Welcome.

(In the center you can call any energy you working with if the ones listed do not resonate with you)

We (I) call to the goddess of love Aphrodite, Venus and Freya help us with this blessing in joy in love.  We (I) call to Hecate keeper of the keys and the crossroads and the unknown.  We (I) call on Lugh to protect us (me). We (I) call all our (my) guides above and below to help support this blessing and transition.  Hail and Welcome.

Light Palo Santo, Sage or incense:  Air reflects our creativity, spirituality, and inspiration, have someone in the group smudge each person or if you're doing it alone smudge yourself with the sweet smell and spend a moment contemplating the aspects of air.

Light a candle or look to the fire:  Fire reflects our relationships, protection, ideas and achievement, spend a moment contemplating these aspects of fire.  This would be the time to write down fears and things you would like to let go of and throw them into the fire.

Open your jar of water:  Water reflects our emotions, intuition, dream states and healing, smudge the water and spend a moment contemplating the aspects of water.

Take a handful of salt and place it in the water:  Salt represents Earth which reflects our practicality, knowledge, sacred wisdom and growth.

Stir realizing you are combining the elements that create life itself.  Consider the balance of the elements and the magic that you would like to create in your life.

Dip your fingers in the water and touch your crown

Say “Bless my crown and my connection to source, highest self and pure bliss from this day forward.”

Dip and touch 3rd eye

Say “Bless my 3rd site that I may see the truth have clear vision and be able to make decisions from my intuition, imagination and inner wisdom from this day forward”

Dip and touch throat

Say “Bless my throat so that my communication may be clear and may I always easily express my feelings and speak my truth from this day forward.”

Dip and touch heart

Say “Bless my heart that it may be open and unburdened may it be filled with love and joy and inner peace from this day forward”

Dip and touch solar plexus

Say “Bless my center that I may create harmony and be filled with self worth, self confidence and self esteem from this day forward.”

Dip and touch Sacral Chakra,

Say: “Bless my connections to others, open me to the passions of life, my ability to accept others as they are and create magical new experiences from this day forward.”

Dip and touch root and feet.

Say “Bless my rootedness and my feet that I may be grounded, that I may walk my path in balance and abundance from this day forward.”

So mote it be

We (I) thank the goddesses of love Aphrodite, Venus and Freya for your help and your blessing in joy in love.  We (I) thank Hecate keeper of the keys and the crossroads and the unknown.  We (I) thank Lugh for your protection. We (I) thank our (my) guides above and below for your support and your blessing.  Hail and Farewell.

We (I) thank the energy of Earth in the North.  For your grounding in stability and nourishing us (me) with your strength as we (I) walk away in growth and abundance.  Hail and Farewell.

We (I) thank the energy of Water in the West.  You have washed away our (my) suffering and bought healing, purification and cleansed our (my) hearts with joy and love.  Hail and farewell

We (I) thank the energy of Fire in the South.  You have ignited our (my) passion and courage to create successful relationships.  Hail and Farewell

We (I) thank the energy of Air in the East.  You have breathed peace into our (my) new beginnings and change as the wheel turns and brought us (me) the wisdom that comes from clear thoughts and communication.  Hail and Farewell


You may save the mixture and dab a little on your third-eye every day for a few days as reminder.  You may pour the mixture in your bath for a gentle energizer.  You may return the mixture to the earth by pouring it on soil or sand (reminder plants don’t thrive in salt).   Sprinkle throughout your home to seal in positive energies and protection.

So mote it be!


3 Things You Can to Do to Make Sure Your Massage is Great

Have you gotten a massage that wasn't great?  It may not have been great for your therapist either!  For the last 15 years I've been operating a chair massage kiosks in a natural grocery store.  In my practice I always make every effort to listen to what my client needs.  I always ask.  I also always ask what kind of pressure typically feels best for them and ask them to let me know about pressure.  Recently I had a client and the massage didn't go well.   

This client said her neck and shoulder were the issue and she liked medium pressure but once I started the 20 minute chair massage she didn't seem to be relaxing.  I asked, "Is this pressure good or do you need more or less than this?"  She said it was fine but kept fidgeting and moving her arms a lot.  She was raising them to rest on the face cradle and lowering them back to the arm rest.  I asked again because it really didn't seem that it was right but again she said it was OK.  I cued her to take a few deep breaths to try and relax and let go of her muscles.  It felt like a struggle the whole time and it felt really uncomfortable.  It really didn't feel like I was meeting her needs.  She seemed uncomfortable and it made me uncomfortable.  I definitely read her body wasn't relaxing but I had no idea what I should be doing differently to make it a more enjoyable experience.  After the massage she went to customer service and asking for a refund for the massage, which I understood but I still wonder what was wrong and what I could have done different to make it a better experience for us both.

This massage reminded me of a quote from one of my favorite books Discovering The Body's Wisdom which says "The world's greatest massage therapist cannot relax your muscles unless you let go from within. . . . Your body therapist serves best as a hands-on consultant, facilitator, intermediary, agent, or catalyst, providing the input your body needs to reorganize itself - What you do in the session is just as important as what the therapist does."  Receiving and giving a massage is relationship.  Sometimes it seem like clients just bring their body in and drop it off like a they're dropping their car off at the mechanic.  Fix me massage therapist, I'm checking out.  To get the most out of your massage working with your therapist makes the experience so much more beneficial.

1.  FIND A THERAPIST YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH.  This is a reason why chair massage can be a good way to test a body workers out.  It's usually a shorter and less expensive than a table massage and it gives you the opportunity to see if you like the therapists style before moving on to table work.  Having a good rapport with the therapist will really help you in relaxing and healing.

2.  BE PRESENT.  Rather than checking out during your massage it's good to stay aware and present with your body.  As the therapist is working you can keep your awareness on the area they are working and focus on bringing your breath into that area.  This will allow you to be able to give the therapist feedback about the pressure and you will notice areas you may not have been aware of holding tension and emotion.  As you notice areas of tension you can continue to focus your awareness to relax the area, directing your breathe and actively relaxing.  Obviously sometimes you may want to just zone out and that's great too but if there is an area you often have pain or disfunction it can be very helpful to stay present during the massage and assist the therapists to create the most change and healing in your body.

3.  COMMUNICATE.  Hopefully the bodyworker will do a good job of doing an intake and figuring out which areas you need focused on and/or avoided.  Sharing injuries and surgeries is important too but it's really important to communicate during the massage if your needs aren't being met.  It can be hard to speak up and hopefully your therapist will check in but you shouldn't be silent if the pressure isn't hard enough or too hard.  Simply saying, "I could use more pressure then that," could go a long way to getting a massage that really makes a different.  

Every body is different and I've found it's impossible to judge a book by it's cover when it comes to the kind of pressure people like but when it's not great massage really feels like a waste of time and money.   If you're happy with what ever you get then feel free to check out and relax but if there's something in your body you'd like to change find a therapist you feel comfortable working with to really create a positive change.

Do not lose heart

Do not lose heart by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Mis estimados: Do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now... Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.
You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement...

I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able crafts in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind... Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.

We have been in training for a dark time such as this, since the day we assented to come to Earth. For many decades, worldwide, souls just like us have been felled and left for dead in so many ways over and over brought down by naivete, by lack of love, by being ambushed and assaulted by various cultural and personal shocks in the extreme. We have a history of being gutted, and yet remember this especially - we have also, of necessity, perfected the knack of resurrection. Over and over again we have been the living proof that that which has been exiled, lost, or foundered can be restored to life again.

In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency too to fall into being weakened by perseverating on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails. We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?...

Understand the paradox: If you study the physics of a waterspout, you will see that the outer vortex whirls far more quickly than the inner one. To calm the storm means to quiet the outer layer, to cause it to swirl much less, to more evenly match the velocity of the inner core - 'til whatever has been lifted into such a vicious funnel falls back to Earth, lays down, is peaceable again. One of the most important steps you can take to help calm the storm is to not allow yourself to be taken in a flurry of overwrought emotion or desperation thereby accidentally contributing to the swale and the swirl.

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours: They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

This comes with much love and prayer that you remember who you came from, and why you came to this beautiful, needful Earth, 
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes